How to Ruin Christmas: The Funeral

How to Ruin Christmas: The Wedding, is a masterpiece, cinema at its finest. In my top 10 movies/series of all time. The series had glamour, wit, it celebrated African wealth and success just like Crazy Rich Asians did. 

The weddings OMG the wedding! If you have not watched the movie, please watch it on Netflix. That is the reason why I wrote my first blog. How to Ruin Christmas: The Funeral, the sequel, as they said, lightning only strikes once, it could not live up to the standard season one gave us.

My friends and I watched the prequel so much that it became our benchmark for any African movies or series we watch on Netflix. It says a lot. Okay, enough bragging or flash credit for the prequel, let us talk about the five - episode miniseries that is How to Ruin Christmas: The Funeral.

Lighting does strike twice:

Season two has more episodes than season one. It makes sense, the series had a lot to digest. From the first episode, you can tell something is missing, Lightning did not strike this time around, the flavor is missing, everyone is angry, but to give credit, it started where season two ended which is with Tumi and Khaya finally trying to date (lucky them). How to Ruin Christmas: The Funeral focuses on Tumi trying to return a letter to Durban which was given by Tumi sister's grandmother in law who sadly passed away in the car with Tumi, yet at the same time she is trying to figure out if she wants to date or just drink a bottle of Tequila each night.

Why didn't lightning strike in the bottle? For me, the series started with an over the - top acting and an angry vibe. If you watch the first two episodes, you will understand, no one in this modern world speaks, thinks or talks in that manner to anyone, angry or not. There was no understanding, logic could have seen that Tumi was not at fault for the death of Nandi Nyembe Granny's character. Then the family refused to read the letter, which was the last message which was left for the family. I found that part of the script odd. The weird part was Beauty insulting a woman's newborn baby in an airplane.

This time the old shine:

Season two focuses on the old members of both families, and at the same time, gives a shine to the youth, I love the focus of losing a baby and the trauma that comes with it, Beauty, played by Thando Thabethe, She played her emotional role to the Tee, still keeping the princess charm that she portrayed in season one. Every character had a ghost or a monkey on their shoulder. If that makes sense, I love it. Mama Sello's former husband comes back just to ruin his daughter's life, yet her friends are forcing her to get back in the love scene, but she tries to stick to her guns.

Desmond Dube, AKA Uncle Shadrack was funny as usual, but I felt they did his character injustice. I really thought the man whose first love is Gin would finally settle down and prove to everyone why he should be the man of the family. The script gives it a hint but does not capitalize it.

The good:

Here I will list my favourite characters not in particular order and why I think they kept it cool, though the script did not come to the table. 

 

Trevor Gumbi as Siya Twala; Trevor is a walking national treasure no doubt about that. He just killed his role, season one we saw a glimpse of him. The guy came full force in season two. The screen lights up when he comes on with his colorful outfit, I love how he is always trying to find problems, so he could fix them just to show his brother he too can help.

 

Lehlohonolo Saint Seseli as Vusi Twala; How can we speak about Siya without mentioning his yang Vusi, He showed why old actors are just gold, did not once go off beat, even during the more challenging part of the series, He kept me wanting more, I just want to watch Mr Seseli act. 

 

Swankie Mafoko as Lydia Twala; Three Twala’s Wow, we all felt for her at the end of season one. In Season two, she finally got her child, got her husband back, who finally got sober, but she had to fight her large - to - life mother-in-law. You just have to love the way the script made her confront her mother-in-law. 

 

Sandile Mahlangu as Sbu Twala; No, No I do not have a thing for the Twala family.  Let me explain why I respect Sbu's character. The script shows his strategic side, which I really enjoyed. He figures his wife's deadbeat dad came back after all the years of absenteeism, and he finds a loophole in his father almost to jail government issues. He hardly had screen time, but when the chance came his way, Sandile went full throttle. 

Bad ending:

Season two felt rushed, there was no chemistry amongst everyone, I am not sure why, Most people I spoke to felt it fell off, I do understand where they are coming from, but I think it’s the rush of shooting back to back, Tumi, was not really herself, something was missing, even in her eyes you could see it though Busi Lurayi tries her best with the cards she was dealt with, you could see something was not there.

The ending was poor. I am not sure maybe the writers wanted it that way, but her character did not have any arc in season two, she was just a running gag, it felt forced, things could have easily ended differently if should, could just think, I mean the script shows she is very intelligent. Yonda Thomas as Khaya Manqele who is Tumi's boyfriend throughout the series. I did not feel sorry for him when Tumi handed him the ring back. He definitely deserves better. The brother tried to please her and make it work, but she was just too much.

The end:

I am not sure if we are getting a season three, but I hope we do. The unanswered question can rest in peace. Maybe they will focus on Cape Town. I mean season one was Johannesburg, season two was Natal. It just makes absolute sense. They need to add new characters, just like season two did, bring the children this time around. 

Nevertheless, I enjoyed season two, not as much as season one. Do you believe there are no ratings for these series anywhere on the internet? How odd, Thank you for giving me time to read my weird review.

Four ⛾⛾⛾⛾ of coffee out of ten.

How Africa will benefit from the streaming war.

 

March 2020, I find myself standing outside my work building staring at my phone watching the Zack Snyder: Justice League, final trailer for the 10th time. I get disturbed by a voice “can you hear the noise?” I looked up, it's my regular customer Alex. I answered “No! Sir, I cannot”. He gets out of his car, puts his face mask on and replies ''ah, youth, lack of experience is the modern youth's downfall. Chaos my young friend, chaos is coming, and you need to be prepared”. This time my phone heads to the back of my jeans pocket, my eyes are glued to his, arms folded. I replied, “prepared for what exactly, Alex?” “During chaos, there lie opportunities. During war, when there's huge smoke, run to the hills, look from above where you can benefit and plan your attack”. He replied.  

Alex was talking about life after the pandemic. Our conversation lasted for about 15 to 20 minutes. The message I got from the conversation with Alex the wise is to learn to anticipate an opportunity. If you look over the pond you will see smoke. Well, not literally, American film industry is at war, a deadly one. They're fighting for numbers, so their streaming platform can help the African continent benefit from the war.

My name is Drey. Welcome to Coffee and Netflix, there's no denying the world is changing. You hardly see children playing in parks. Wait, hold up, are they still parks? COVID-19 pandemic sped up the process, the world stopped, no sport, no cinema, TikTok lit up like fire in a wild forest, Hollywood lost trillions of dollars in a year, video on demand became the centre of the world.

November 2019 Disney+ goes live, halfway through the COVID-19 pandemic year (2020) It launches in Latin America and Europe respectively. April 2020 ANBCUniversal launches their very own video on demand platform, Peacock. As of the publishing of the blog, it is only available in America. In May 2020, HBO MAX, a division of Warner Media, released in America. June 2021, launched in Latin America. Later in the year it will be available in Europe. Paramount joins the war in March 2021 with Paramount plus, like Peacock, it is only available in America. They are all competing with the likes of Apple TV, Amazon Prime and the main giant Netflix. 

South Africa new streaming service

Need of content: 

We have established the rise of the Internet on the continent, the streaming service which is operating on the continent. In my first blog post I discuss the growth of the African film industry. Click here to read more. In it, I explore the elevation of our industry. With so many streaming services in the market, the only way they can survive is by expanding and offering more content. 

The year is 2025. Disney+, HBO MAX and Peacock are established on the continent. I can finally watch Zack Snyder's Justice League 2, the day of release (Lord hear your son's prayer) on HBO MAX. Would the content each platform offers be good for us?

Disney dug into their repertoire and got us another princess along with a song that's number one in the HOT 100, One problem is the princess is based on a character from Alaska, a young girl from Djibouti who is watching the latest release from her mother's lap, moral of my little story the young girl from the country of Djibouti might enjoy the latest Disney princess blockbuster, but can she relate? Solution; Disney exec’s with their 100 years of experience know they have to release content for the specific market, so they will need to hire African writers to create African stories.  

That was only Disney. It only takes one to make the first move, the rest will follow. The formula will be beneficial for content creators on the continent, the film economy will be boosted and, out of it, the African studios will be amongst the best in the world. 

Why is Netflix winning in Africa?

In 2022, Netflix Africa will release their first African reality show on the platform Young, Famous & African. The show will focus on a group of famed, affluent young media stars in Johannesburg as they build careers, look for love and rekindle old flames. If the show is successful, it will send shock waves across streaming services. If not, Netflix won't give up. They will try again. Here lies Netflix's strength, the will to be ahead of the streaming curve, realising their 20 million plus African subscribers need content they can relate with, and establishing infrastructure on the continent is key to their success.  

Amazon Prime, arguably the second-biggest streaming service globally, also available in Africa since 2016, has not released trending, exciting African content as yet. Showmax with the help of Multichoice has been releasing amazing African content, such as “Temptation Island South Africa, Uthando Lodumo, Skemerdans, Crime and Justice” to name a few. Showmax has been available in Africa since 2015, but this guy has not been a subscriber yet.  

In 2016, my younger self rushed to class late as usual. It's a mid-year marketing exam, I get to the hall, sit down, take my books out, am exhausted, I sigh, then look across the desk, my good friend Simone calmly looking at me while laughing, “you had one of those nights haven't you?” I replied, “yes, six hours of study”. “You should stop doing that to yourself. It is not healthy”, Simone answered back, He leant towards me then whispered “you should stop working hard. Learn to work smart”. Those four words “learn to work smart” have been echoing in my ears ever since, and that's the Netflix formula: they work smart, not hard, they understand what the customer needs, and they are always ahead of the competition.

Be prepared for the opportunity

Conclusion.

I am staring at the dismal maths test results which I got back from my teacher. I am disappointed with myself. I don't look up, observing each question as if I could now get it right, My train of thoughts gets disturbed by the teacher's voice, She writes on the board the final exam dates that's two months from the day, she turns back to the class, then says “the more you bleed on the training ground the less you sweat on the battlefield” that was 2012, I eventually passed the final exam, but those words are printed in my brain.  

The message Alex and my intelligent maths teacher have in common is get ready now, don't wait, because when all those streaming service companies establish themselves on the continent, they will need content creators, so pick up that pen and write, stop thinking about that perfect shot, dust the camera and practice your skills even when you don't have an audience you will eventually be  a professional in what you do. Just like Netflix being ahead of the curve, that's why I am writing, I am tired of thinking I am practicing. I accept criticism and I will get better.  

Thank you again for reading till the end. I hope it was worth your while, four cups of coffee it took me to finish the article.  

I can be reached on Instagram

@coffeeandnetflix

The rise of African Films.

If you look back through the lens of the African movie industry, you have to admit we came a long way, I mean from Cape Town to Cairo kind of long. There was a time I detested (I write it down with the utmost respect) detested African films. I would change the channel immediately upon seeing an African movie on my parents TV. Please don't judge me, hear me out for a second, okay maybe like  ten minutes. My name is Drey, I would like to welcome you to my first blog post. Let me explain why I hate and love African film industry in that order.  

I love art, I believe earth is a museum, everything we do is art, before social media and the internet the only way we could demonstrate our art as Africans was through music, books, fashion and films the second most important being films it captures a vast audience with the TV as the best channel of distribution. What makes art so powerful is the fact that it stood the test of time, earth has been around for mother knows how long, but each day we are left in awe by her beauty, just when we thought we figured her out, our hands are constantly holding our face like Kevin in Home Alone, what I am trying to say is that a film can be seen a thousand times across the years through the same eyes, each time we learn something new without getting bored. I am trying my best not to get to the point (deep breath I don't want to be judged or misunderstood, like I care). 

 

Mr. Ibu, I never watched the movie but I have seen so many memes that I can tell what it is about. In High school they used to call me Mr. Ibue whenever I did anything dumb or stupid, it never bothered me, my curiosity let me to ask people what was Mr Ibu about and none could get past the part where it was a young man causing havoc by doing stupid things, what did they learn from the movie no one could tell me, The movie was designed for gags but could the same people years later watch a three plus hour movie? I highly doubt it.

Mr Ibu and PawPaw

My Hate and love for African movies or series came from my mother (an artist herself) but in the music industry, she used to spend hours watching African movies on DStv during the weekend while cooking or plating my little sister hair, movies with the most brutal titles like  “A villager in London” “My wife gave birth to a snake” or “The church or money” and many more weird titles I could not make up. If you try to Google these titles and  they do not appear, don't blame me. My biggest problem was not only my mum spending her weekends watching four hours movies back to back, it was the barber shop, as I waited for my turn to get spanked with a firing dragon flame turned liquid which lands on the edge of my head after a haircut, I would kill time by gluing my eyes to the screen watching a tireless scene or boring dialogue, the make-up on the artist was not that great, there was no cinematography, weak script, lack of consistency in the drama, low level scenes, poor sound editing, you have every right to say I am being hard but my mother always told me if you wanted to do something do it right and give it your best for me that's what art is about giving your best, making it your last touch. Praying for the barber to just say next, my eyes wander again to the screen above a ten feet mirror with a biblical verse stamp on it.  

 

Seeing a scene where a gentlemen driving his car while talking to himself, the scene would take more than five minutes of him just driving, upon arriving at his gate we see the gentlemen getting off his car opening the gate, get back in the car, park his vehicle in the driveway goes back and close the gate then proceeds to walk to his huge castle, those scenes used to drive me insane.  

 

You must be wondering what am I reading, I do not grasp the concept, and he said ten minutes of reading. Let us dwell deep should we? The point I am trying to make is most casual African movies or series  had no direction. I don't mean as a blockbuster because we have a few of our own, for example, The Gods must be crazy, District 9 or Tsotsi, to name a few. We should not ignore the fact that those four plus hour movies were being made because it had an audience to feed which is why Nollywood is the biggest distributor of movies in Africa making $590 million annually, certainly it has fans. Just like the life cycle in marketing a product needs to find ways to stay relevant to please its client I felt like Nollywood hit a recession and has not elevated yet, to feed the young audience. I mean the guy who likes chilling on weekends reading a book and contributing to everything which is black and beautiful. If I wanted to watch a series or a movie on the weekend it was difficult to find good African movies to watch with friends or by myself.  

Feeding the Gap. 

The west was growing in popularity with quality content series such as Game of Thrones, 24, Gossip Girls, Glee and Jane the Virgin or Jason Bourne movies. In our beloved continent we were fed with the same old formula of soap opera which have been on our screen since the start of the millennium, actors we saw growing on screen, their characters' names shadow their real names. We needed content, intellectual content, out of the blue the African Gods blessed us with Jacob Cross to me it was on the same level as the previously mentioned series and movies, what a series it was, a masterpiece especially season one. I recommend you should give it a watch, a series about one man's quest to establish a business empire in the cut-throat world of the African oil industry. The very first time South Africa and Nigeria work together in a production, it's worth a watch. There I felt the African film industry gave us what we wanted, a series which spoke about African excellence, business and power, IMDb rated it 9/10.

 

                                                                

The Jacob Cross trailer

Shuga, A group of students whose futures are balanced on a knife-edge due to their love of risk and danger. The series was well-received in Africa and around the world. What I love about Shuga the producers and directors did not hold back, there was kissing, and cursing. They represented what young African girls in African college were getting up to. The series premiered on MTV Base, a channel targeting young adults. I might be wrong, it was the first time we saw Lupita Nyongo on screen.  

Shuga season one trailer

What did all of those series have in common with the next one? The fact it did not last long, there was not much noise (hashtags) around to put fire under the network exec bum, only if social media was alive back then, because if social media had been around when Ayeye was airing, Vuzu would given us a second or maybe a third season, Ayeye was ahead of its time, the best African series of all time in my opinion, someone tell Thapelo Mokoena I said that. The series followed three room-mates who worked in an advertising company in Johannesburg, as we see each character go through their struggle of life from breakups, drug abuse, understanding life and starting a business.  

Ayeye trailer  

My only problem was there were no major networks at the time to see the potential of the above series, we cannot have everything in life, I guess. There was a transition in African films, writers and directors questioned themselves. They dug deep and came out with series which could stand the test of time without a doubt. The teams behind each show mentioned above were their own competition, each episode better than the previous one. As soon as the respected show ended there was a void which needed to be filled. A young man lost his appetite for African series. I felt lost and my heart needed something but I could not explain that urge. 

 

Netflix saved the day.

Along came Netflix, gone are the corporate film studios, the government network channels with execs that lack visions. I for once was excited to have Netflix in Africa, little did I know about them. It was just FOMO (fear of Missing out), Netflix and chill waves. I knew about orange is the new black and house of cards, never watched either of them but twitter was buzzing about it, all I knew they were a Netflix production, so crossing the Atlantic just for us to watch their American shows did not add up with me, I knew something was coming, and I was excited. Bare with me please, we are almost there, almost.  

 

Netflix was going to do what other African production companies could not, they gave small/independent production companies a chance, a chance to offer premium stories, quality production, while African governments were busy rewriting regulations so Netflix could pay taxes, Netflix went on a shopping spree of acquiring movies rights. They were about to fill the void that I could no longer bear. While the sun was shining on African films along came Shadow, Netflix Africa first ever production, forgive the pun but the spotlight was on Netflix. The series is about a tragic loss, an ex-cop with a rare inability to feel pain strikes out on his own to catch offenders who have eluded Johannesburg police. I am not sure who gave the clapper board to the director of Shadow but that person needs help. The series cast Pallance Dladla as Shadow, Nnekwa Tsajwa as the villain, Amanda Du-Pont as Shadow main chick, for me it was my first time seeing these actors on screen. The series rating on IMDb at the time of writing is  6.6/10. Am not impressed the series was not what I expected, Shadow had a Luke Cage kind of powers, bulletproof skin and all, the dude was harmless but full of emotion I did not get it, my attention span only lasted till episode three, the acting was poor, the actions was good to be fair, the cinematography was on point especially at night the visual was stunning, the dialogue lord has mercy that's all I’ll say.  

 

Just like my branding lecturer used to say, “being first can either be a blessing or a tragedy” Shadow was the case, first to the party and no one gave them attention except critics. I will give the production team a hand, they did their very best, the script did not get the assignment. Shadow demise did not hurt Netflix emotions. Catching Feelings was what Netflix needed. It had Kagiso Lediga front and behind the camera, star -studded cast of Pearl Thusi, Akin Omotoso (my favourite actor and director on the continent) and Loyiso Gola, they helped Kagiso make the film a must-watch. Catching feelings follows a formerly-famous writer and his wife whose life gets disrupted when a famous and very self-indulgent author comes to stay with them. The film is a masterpiece. Rotten Tomatoes has it on 100% rating, I mean it cannot get better.  

Check out the trailer for Catching feelings

Let us be frank Netflix Africa had its hits-and-miss with series and movies, but who can blame them, they tried to feed us with content we needed but at least they tried, that's what is important. There're gems on Netflix which they have not advertised as much, story for another day.  

The point am I trying to make is, we should not set our standard low when it comes to African films industry, not because it is set in the continent and has an African cast, we should learn to be tough on them and push the creative team to do their very best and I have two examples to end this essay. Queen Sono produced once again by Kagiso Lediga starring his Catching feelings co-star Pearl Thusi. Am not sure if its an espionage or revenge series not going to lie, the script was poor it lacks meat and vision. what made Queen Sono great was the acting the cast did an amazing job, the cinematography is jaw dropping, the director did his best with shots that looks like things of beauty, there's a scene in the park when they show young Sono and her mother wow what a scene, the director strengths was his skills with actions scene and visuals. Queen Sono is about a spy who takes on her most dangerous mission yet while facing changing relationships in her personal life. I did not pass episode three again, I got bored because of the script, you know what? I’ll give it a try again, now that I am blogging about African films.

 

Saved the best for last, whoever gave the clapper board to the director of How to Ruin Christmas: The Wedding needs an award, what a mini series. Well I will say a good three-hour movie with some ad breaks. IMDb gave it a 6.2/10,  while remaining  fresh on Rotten tomato with a 93% rating, The series focuses on Busi Lurayi whose character Tumi tries to make things right after ruining what should have been her sister's picture-perfect Christmas wedding. Each character on screen had an amazing development one could feel the emotions and the stake at hand, a well cast series, it reminded me of Crazy rich Asians, a movie I felt needed an African version, the writer and director of How to Ruin Christmas: The Wedding literally said “say no more fam” the movie represent Africa poor and rich lifestyle without making it feel unpleasant. Just like Crazy rich Asians the wedding scene will leave you crying, No, I almost cried. Thando Thabethe as Beauty had a princess vibe, she pulled her role to the T’. I will write more about the series in due time.

  

                      

   How to Ruin Christmas: The Wedding trailer

Look, I am sure you might not be like me, but what we have in common is the love for the African art no matter the medium. Just like my mother said, we should always give our best, that was my problem with certain African movies or series, we should not blame the low budget nor the actors, some have been in the industry for decades. Our standard for movies which are made by our people should be of high standards, we should be the first to tell them that, because we love the project, and we are fans. Netflix gave our African production companies a platform to show their skills, we now have quality content on demand which depict our lifestyle, us fans can relate to them at the same time we put the continent stories on a huge platform for the world to watch, I hope someone  across the pound watched How to Ruin Christmas: The Wedding and was like “I would like to have a Zulu wedding” 

I am a lover of African films. The main reason I make use of Netflix Africa is to watch movies or series is because it offers African productions which I love. For those of you who have read the whole article till the end, I would like to thank you for reading my first ever article. Now let me go and make me some good organic Ethiopian coffee.  

 

I can be reached on Instagram

@coffeeandnetflix